Thursday, September 29, 2011
There are some people in this world we devote our lives to and invest out selves in; the people we fully put our trust in. We would do anything for them and expect that they would do the same for us. Sadly though, this is not how it always works. Most of the time, for me at least, this is a one way street. Somebody comes into my life and I start investing myself in them. I break down my walls and barriers so that I might let them in. The bad thing about this is that when your walls are broken down and you have no barriers, you are left defenseless and vulnerable. If that somebody can walk in, they can just as easily walk right out, leaving you alone and helpless. Over the years, I've learned to be more careful. I keep my guard up. I protect myself so I don't get hurt, but in the mean time, others are hurt because they wonder why I wont let them in. Maybe I'm just a coward. I'm paranoid and afraid. I've been so naive my whole life. I used to let everyone in. Now the pendulum has swung way too far in the opposite direction. I hardly let anyone in because I'm scared. And at times, I'm even scared to become close to someone. I don't like the hurt of seeing them leave or becoming something I don't know.